#is that a good thing
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Postal Dude NSFW Alphabet
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Was gonna work on my TF2 and Postal requests, but I've been sick and was in the ER cause of it. But depsite all of that, I'm still horrifically down bad for this stinky pissman. My need for this man cannot be contained. Halp
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A: Aftercare (What they're like after sex):
Admittingly, his aftercare kinda sucks. Just wipe ya off then pass out. It's just not something he's used to. You're gonna have to teach him how to do some proper aftercare. It'll take some time, but he'll get better at it with some time
B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of their and also their partners):
Now I'm putting my own (weird) biases here, Dude likes his hands. They're so long and spidery. Perfect to shove his fingers down your throat. He's such a long and gangly man.
Now his favorite body part on you would be your thighs. Thick thighs means a nice, fat ass and I can just tell that this man is an ass man. And also thigh highs?! The way they hug the thighs are there's that little thigh pudge at the top of the thigh highs. You know what I'm talking about. Dude lives for thick thighs. Choke them with your thighs, he'll die a happy man
C: Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically):
I'd like to think cums a lot. Please let me dream. Just picture him cumming in you so much that it spills out of you as more tries to fill in you. Maybe even creating a little tummy bulge.
But for taste wise, it is BITTER. Like it starts salty but gets bitter the more you taste it. So good luck with that. Man's good for stuffing ya, but the taste is one that will take a bit to get used to. Someone get this man on a better diet!
D: Dirty Secret (pretty self explanitory, a dirty secret of theirs):
I feel like he's secretly an exhibitionist. I just know that Dude would get off to people seeing him getting fucked. Hell, he'd probably let people run a train on him if given the opportunity. This man's a slut to the highest degree even though he gets no bitches
E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?):
I'd say he's got a decent amount of experience. Like, he definitely knows what he's doing. Could it be better? Yeah. Much of this man's potential has yet to be discovered
F: Favorite Position (This goes without saying):
Homie doesn't discriminate. Any position is a good position. You wanna ride him? Go for it. Want him to bend you over and pound the fuck out of you? He's already bending you over. He definitely loves being bent over, stuffed and fucked
G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.):
Has this man ever been serious? He's a chill boy. I don't really have much to say here. He's a goofy goober
H: Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpent match the drapes? etc.):
I'd say Dude's got a decent amount of hair. Definitely not hair, but not bare. And even then, it's light in color so it doesn't catch your attention at first. And he's kinda groomed. He'll keep up with it if asked
I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Romantic aspect):
Dude's not much of a romance person. But that doesn't mean he isn't trying. On special occasions, like anniversaries or your birthday, he'll put the effeort in. He'd be cheesy and break out the rose petals. How'd he get them? Don't worry about it. He's even broke out the candles as well, ignore the burn marks on his hands, his ass was not paying attention when lighting them and almost set the trailer on fire
J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanons):
He does jack off, kinda often, but it's just never enough for him. He's tried all sorts of things but finds much more satisfaction being able to fuck someone. He gets irritable when he doesn't get needs fufilled
K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks):
I'm doing it. I'm going there. I don't care what you people say. He's got a piss kink. (So does Sniper but he's not apart of this, fight me) He will piss on you and he will have you piss on him. He'd be gross and try to drink your piss. He doesn't care. I'm a piss kink Dude truther
Another major kink I'll throw in here is pegging. He loves it when his lady put the strap-on on, bends him over, and makes him her bitch. Pegging makes Dude the most adorable little sub ever. Just a begging and moaning mess. You know you love it, don't deny it
L: Location (Favorite places to do the do):
Anywhere and everywhere. Just say the words and he's ready. Nothing will stop this horny man. NOTHING
M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going):
Your existence gets him going. You could be sitting around, reading a book or watching T.V. and that gets him hard. It's his inner simp showing. What really gets him going is seeing you wearing one of his shirts and nothing else. Especially when the shirt starts to ride up your thigh. It's like your teasing him without realizing
N: No (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs):
Now Dude is a pretty open guy, but of course he has limits. I'll just say that he's not into the really gross stuff. The only gross thing he likes is piss. Like, that's the only time you're gonna see this man at his most vile. Anything else gross and he'll start gagging and leaving
O: Oral (Preference is giving or recieving, skills, etc.):
Loves oral. Prefers to receive but will gladly give. Sit on his face. He's begging you to. But when you give him head, watch out cause if you don't stop him, he'll wanna fuck your face. He loves being able to stuff his cock down your throat
P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.):
Loves going fast and rough. He lives for it, especially when you mark him up during it. Rarely is slow and sensual. He'll be slow on thos rare intimate moments he has. But wither way, he will leave you a shaking, satisfied mess afterwards
Q: Quickie (Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.):
Not the biggest fan but desperate times call for desperate measures. He tries to not partake in quickies often so when it does happen, he's so desperate to cum
R: Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks etc.):
Huge risk taker. The risk is what gets hims going. Always ready to take them. Bouns points if you're like him in that aspect. You two would be such an unstoppable force, for real for real
S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?):
He's got some pretty good stamina, especially when he's high on crack. He's practically insatiable. You two will be going at it for HOURS. Practically a whole day of sex so you better be prepared or you'll be a pile of dust afterwards. And yes, he will make fun of you for it.
T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):
Literally in the one scene in Brain Damaged when he's sitting on his couch, there's a fucking dildo on the floor. So obviously yes, he owns toys, and yes he uses them. And yes, he will use toys on you. Why wouldn't he? Using toys means extra fun, and Dude ain't gonna pass up such an opportunity to tease and overstimulate you
U: Unfair (How much do they like to tease?):
Such a teasing bastard, and a hypocrite. Loves to tease and make you beg, but can be stubborn at first when you try to same tactics on him. He knows how to press all the right buttons when teasing. He rightfully deserves to be treated back, but also a little more harsher for being such a little shit
V: Volume (How loud are they? What sounds they make? etc.):
I'd say Dude isn't the loudest, he prefers to hear you rather then himself. But that can easily be changed with a little pegging. Remeber, he's a hoe, so he is fun to make a moaning, whiny mess, just begging for more
W: Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character):
If it isn't obvious by now, this man is bi/pan. You cannot look at this man and say he's straight. It's just such a bold face lie. Homie likes his men, women, enbys, trans people equally. All he wants is a good time. I'd say he has a slight preference for more feminine people. But now by saying that, I'm thinking of femboy Dude and I'm more than here for that
X: X-Ray (Let's see whats going on under those clothes):
Now please bear with me here, cause I unfortunately don't have male anatomy. I'd say he's about six inches, cut, head's this nice little rosy pink color and SENSITIVE
Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive):
Very high drive, constantly horny. He cannot be contained. Sometimes multiple rounds a day isn't enough for him. He understand that sometimes, you're not gonna be needy as him so he's used to having to take care of himself. Though he'd appreciate some help during these trying times
Z: Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?):
Almost immediately after doing the do. That's probably why his aftercare sucks cause he's ready to pass the fuck out most of the time. Falls asleep like a man in the Victorian era dying from Influenza. He's practically clonked out like a dead man too. It's ridiculous and deserves to be bullied for it
#postal#postal dude#postal dude x reader#i seem to have a thing for tall lanky men that constantly piss#is that a good thing#probably not#i think this says a lot about me#and i don't think that's a good thing#oh well
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slowly becoming a baddgarou shipper
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it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
#making this at 2 am was like top 10 autism moment for me#this is helping me make sense of so many things hopefully it helps someone else too idk#user macdenlover drops badly drawn infographic media literacy rates skyrocket theres world peace#anyways#for sunny 1.5 is the sweet spot for me. a sexy medium rare if u will#but it completely depends on the piece of media#with supernatural i was a 2.5 on a good day.
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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People will claim to be a fan of some thing and then hate all of the themes and motifs and story lines and plot lines and protagonists and antagonists like man I don’t think that you actually like it here
#this is about a lot of IWTV show fans but it applies to most fandoms actually#hating is one thing. hating is fine. good even. sometimes. but yall just seem Miserable.
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one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.
#the funny thing is she DOES know who ben affleck is#mom you're the one who made me watch good will hunting!!!#ah well. mommy doesn't know who the guy is#I'm gonna start saying that as if it's a popular meme phrase that everyone knows. maybe i can gaslight pple into using it#....you know what. please reblog this actually. it's what mommy deserves
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not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]
#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova#UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away.#then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again.#ria.txt#personal#space opera au#(<- not about what you think is about)#hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good.#xkcd#randall munroe#space#moon#anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!#ok this is about false and ren from hermitcraft#falseren
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hey! there's zero esims left for the connecting gaza campaign as of today. i remember you promoting them earlier. could you give them a much needed boost?
oh dang! unfamiliar with that particular campaign, as I always donate via crips for e-sims because it's super easy to do, but regardless let's go people!
#signal boost#esims for gaza#crips for esims#monday is 'whatever i got that i can give' day anyway so good timing#free palestine#only thing to watch out is how much of a tip you're giving on this site bc it defaults to. super high? which. I get but c'mon#I'm here to give the money to THEM not the host site ok
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I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
#greek mythology#ares#athena#greek gods#dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise#on some level at least#man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11#thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful#romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it#also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now#my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming#i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one#kochei doodles
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u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me
#iso.txt#i feel like i have the right kind of mindset to have been radicalised into some . not good things if i hadnt seen reason#like the right set of neuroses and stuff.#briefly i guess i was.#i honestly still sort of struggle sometimes to convince myself of some things i *know* i should believe i know are right. idk.
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hi!
um
yeah
notes goal post
because i really need motivation
(i stole some of these but shhhhh)
if this post gets 50 notes i'll drink water right now
100 i'll go to bed at midnight for the rest of the week
200 i'll actually do my laundry
500 i'll take a shower every day for the rest of the week
1,000 i'll brush my teeth every night for a full week
2,000 i'll stop binding for an unhealthy amount of time for a full week
3,000 i'll start actually wearing my ankle braces consistently
4,000 i'll eat breakfast every day for the rest of the week
5,000 i'll stop binding while sleeping
6,000 i'll stop wearing earrings i'm allergic to for a full week
7,000 i'll start doing makeup again
8,000 i'll stop eating chocolate for the rest of the week
9,000 i'll make my autodale masks
10,000 i'll touch grass every day for the rest of the month
11,000 i'll water my plants twice a week for the rest of the month
12,000 i'll put on my lotion when i need to for a full week
13,000 i'll eat at least two meals every day for the rest of the week
14,000 i'll finish my water bottle every day for a full week
15,000 i'll write more for forest files
18,000 i'll clean out my backpack
19,000 i'll take my vitamins every day for the rest of the week
20,000 i'll finish my stained glass project
21,000 i'll go to bed before midnight for the rest of the week
22,000 i'll do my summer reading
23,000 i'll move the knife out of my room
24,000 i'll eat three meals every day for three days
25,000 i'll stop purposefully triggering myself for a full week
50,000 i'll try my best to stay clean for two full weeks
i'll probably add more goals if this somehow get past 5k, but there it is for now :)
spam allowed
tagging allowed
ummm the deadline is halloween
*thumbs up*
go for it
#i know this isnt my usual post thing but#idk#its good for me or something#and also im pathetic and crave validation and attention al the time#y'all dont like. actually have to hit any of these actually#um#notes goal#notes post#if this gets x notes#tw skipping meals#tw sh#tw unhealthy binding#tw knife mention
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i am glad queer representation has drastically improved in my lifetime. because now i can say that i dislike a gay book and not feel like i��m invalidating stonewall
#this is about legends and lattes btw#it would have been life changing ten years ago. but it just isn’t anymore. and thats a good thing!!#nat og#books#1k#2k#5k#10k#15k#20k
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MONKEY MAN (2024)
#augh it was so good i couldn't stop thinking about it#and also i need to rewatch it because i kept getting distracted by dev patel's big beautiful eyes.....#does he have a licence for those#the mythology the politics the sectarian strife the hijra community and outsiders... he wove so many things together so beautifully#and also. he gave us an adorable dog. which is necessary to me.#and also he took his shirt off multiple times.#monkey man#dev patel#vipin sharma#spoilers#long post#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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idk why people get super pedantic about the movie logic in Home Alone and start and try to pick it apart, because like, its a Christmas movie about a child accidentally being left home alone, the premise isn't exactly asking us to suspend our disbelief that much, and yet nearly every single "gotcha" question I see people bring up about this film is literally answered within the first 15 minutes :/
#if we simply used our EYES and paid ATTENTION#in this essay I will-#sorry im sick and its 3am and im watching Home Alone in July yes#honestly its because this movie is so incredibly airtight its one of the things that makes it so good
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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